We try our best, but sometimes it just doesn’t work.

For example, about page 10 I think that perhaps saying “Except I won’t only recognize you as my servant” might have worked, it’s still very ambiguous, Lunar doesn’t lose her haughty tone, while at the same time implying that to her Nagasumi is something more (or less).

Page 11 sounds even worse, I see two ways: a slightly easier one, like “…and then I’ll write a fully detailed report of Lunar-sama’s activities too” which makes it obvious why she starts crying, but isn’t exactly what is being said from what you’ve written previously; or try to convey the original’s subtleties, which is a bit more difficult. In this case perhaps “Lunar-sama was advancing/pressing her studies on the sea louse” which is still very ambiguous (a little too much perhaps) but could be interpreted both ways.

Yes, interpreting literally is a bit more… dry. But less literal or taking liberties especially when what is being implied is unclear is also dangerous.

For the page 10, in the original Japanese raw, there is no previously mentioned positions Nagasumi may fill rather than being a servant. What can be implied there? Perhaps as more than a servant (yes that is definitely implied) but as a lover? As a seat cushion? Perhaps a tool for revenge? If I make a creative liberty in translating that line, I force upon the reader a choice I made that wasn’t clearly implied in the original raw.

Page 11, the original TL is more of Lunar-sama was continuing her studies in… seducing? actual school work? Both of these are possible choices as she could be seen trying to seduce Nagasumi but she is also afraid of Sun finding out how hard she has to study. Do I force upon the readers a choice I made to bring some clarity to the sentence? Or should I leave it open and let the readers decide what they may?

Page 5．Looking back, this may be my mistake. I read it as itsuko… -> roughly writing down answers as singles. It should have been read as ikko… which is single shift of writing down answers. If so, then it should read, “She’d fill out the answer sheet with a shift by one and at the end tilt her head and wonder why there was a question left unanswered.”

Was really hoping someone would pick up this series.

But a little bit more proofreading might not be out of the question, there are some bits that are a bit obscure in their meaning. For example…

In page 10 “Except I don’t recognize you as my servant”, then what does she recognize him as? In page 11 why would Lunar worry about Maki reporting that she was studying? In page 17 Maki says that she doesn’t have to seduce the sea louse, but she does so in the next page. I can’t be sure of this one but the anime’s translation for San’s puzzlement in page 5 made a bit more sense (filling the answer sheet one question off and then wondering at the end why there’s a question left unanswered).

And so on, and so on.

Don’t be afraid of being a little creative or taking some liberties when translating. Translating is an art itself, a literal translation might be more accurate, but also more sterile, forced and difficult to understand.